Saturday, July 20, 2013

Do you feel like life's punching bag? How to use flower essences to stop the madness!

Does it ever feel like you've finally got things under control and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, someone else's stress overflows and becomes your problem? Out of the blue, a friend, co-worker, or family member decides that you are their punching bag and they start berating you, putting you down, and blaming you for all of their problems? Then, when you go out of your way to try to alleviate their stress, they refuse your help or find new reasons to blame you or judge you. Finally after some introspection you become aware that you are not really the problem after all.

Many of us are used to being nice and backing down and accommodating others, helping out, and doing everything in our power to keep the peace. Then, without provocation, and for something as simple as a bad weather day or a deadline, someone decides that they need to take their frustrations out on someone, and you just happen to be there and they take that as an invitation to use you as a human punching bag for their emotional distress. You feel like you've done tremendous spiritual work, you try to find compassionate ways to deal with other people, and you end up having to clean up a mess that is not yours.

This pattern seems to repeat itself and you can't figure out why you are always in the position of being a victim. You wonder why this happens and people tell you that it's because you are successful or that it's easy for others to be jealous of you because life just seems so much better for you. You know deep inside that you've worked hard to get where you are. What you need is a protective shield to keep out other people's negativity. Start by creating a protective barrier around you to shield you from someone's negativity in your environment (especially a roommate, co-worker, family member, neighbor, or someone who you share space with on a frequent basis and can't avoid). Try FES Yarrow Environmental Solution. Just to be clear, Yarrow Environmental Solution is an herbal and flower essence combination, so if you are not ok with any of the herbal tinctures in the solution, take Yarrow Flower Essence instead.

You might want to simultaneously take Bach Flower Remedies' Centaury if you feel like you have a hard time saying no to someone's requests or if you feel like you've always come across as nice and others perceive that to mean they can take advantage of your niceness. If you feel like the other person is bullying you or emotionally blackmailing you, you might want to take Aquarius Flower Remedies' formula Stop Bullying Me which contains flower essences of 12 flowers and 1 seed essence to help you gain confidence and add an additional layer of protection from negative forces.

You could take FES Black Cohosh to help enhance courage to stand up to a situation rather than back down. If you have always given in because you didn't have the courage to express yourself and set boundaries, this flower essence could help.

If you have had a lifelong pattern of expecting others to treat you badly based on early childhood experiences or even past life influences, you might consider taking FES Oregon Grape. Though you may believe that you have good reason not to trust other people because of having gone through a series of difficult situations involving people's behavior towards you, you may want to stop attracting this type of behavior from people in the future. Oregon Grape helps instill a positive expectation of people's behavior, opening up the possibility to attract more trustworthy, kind people into your life.

Finally, if you have been bogged down with the negative energy of others for so long that you have felt heavy-hearted and discouraged at the idea of things ever changing with these situations, try FES Borage. This flower essence helps bring out optimism, courage, and loving heart energy. By using the other flower essences first, you are ensuring that you have created a protective shield, built up the courage to speak up for yourself and set boundaries, cleared lifelong distrust of others, and then from this place of safety, you are opening up your heart energies to feel optimistic and loving.

It is important to cover all different aspects of an issue, because without doing that, you could bring more harm to yourself. If for example, you ignored the main issue and decided you just need to feel more optimistic and trusting and took flower essences for that, you might still be in a situation where people continue to take advantage of you. You will end up feeling even more distrusting of people and resentful if you allow those behaviors to continue. Therefore, it's crucial to examine all different aspects and first understand what your emotions are telling you, because emotions are a warning system. Feeling angry is like an alarm going off telling us that something is wrong. It doesn't always mean that we can fix an issue outwardly so that we get everything we want the way we want it or that other people are always the problem. What it means is that something doesn't feel right and we need to understand all the things that contribute to that. If in fact we find ourselves in a situation that is just not safe or healthy for us anymore, we need to look out for our physical and emotional safety and well-being and take action in the real world.

Flower essences help us through the process of learning about our emotions, bolstering inner qualities such as courage and confidence, and sometimes lending us creative insights or intuitive hunches. However, all of this is usually a precursor to taking some action in the physical world. In some cases (and especially after we have cultivated a strong inner spiritual sense), problems and issues sometimes disappear without us having to take action. However, waiting indefinitely for that may not be the best way to handle day-to-day issues. It might be best to bolster communication, handle our own emotional triggers, and use compassion but set strong boundaries and take decisive action to let others know that what was ok in the past is no longer ok anymore. Once you make it clear that you are not to be disrespected, things will change in the physical world. Either people will step up and learn a new way to communicate with you or they will stop interacting with you. Again, if any situation is dangerous, inappropriate, abusive, etc. seek out professional help.

By using a variety of flower essences to solve an issue from multiple angles, you will find creative and effective ways to not only resolve this particular issue but you may also stop attracting similar issues in the future. Feel free to share your story and how you resolved an issue with someone who took out their stress and negativity on you. Click on the title of this post to leave a comment in the Comments section.

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